Rules for Lecture Attendance

Alan Jacobs, after enduring several uncalled-for behaviors from students coming to listen to a lecture by a visiting speaker (described here) posted the following "Rules for Lecture Attendance".  I thought these rules, and my inner-post-modern knee-jerk disapproval of the autocratic tone were interesting.  I have grown so used to doing things any old way that happens to feel right at the time (a modus operandi that I am trying hard to ween myself from because I think that it is based on sandy foundations), that any firm rule "feels" wrong.  Not that it is wrong.  In fact, I dare say it is very much right!

What do you think?

"I am aware that some situations call for different rules. There are lectures during which it would be appropriate to talk, eat, tweet, and/or fart. Or so I have been told. However, this is rarely the case when lectures are given in academic settings, which are the ones I have chiefly in mind here. One general rule governs everything that follows: Do not make it harder for speakers or listeners to concentrate on the lecture.

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1) Go to great lengths to be sure you know precisely when and where the lecture will be given. Do not make assumptions.
2) Arrive at the right place on time, or even early.
3) It is especially important to arrive early if you think you will have to leave early. In such a situation, you will want to situate yourself as close to an exit as possible, so that you may depart quietly and unobtrusively. You might also ask yourself whether you need to leave early or would just prefer to leave early. If you would justprefer to leave early, maybe you shouldn't be there at all.
4) You shouldn't be late, but if you must be late, come in as quietly as possible and sit near the door. Sit on the floor if you have to. In no circumstances should you stroll in, scan the venue in a leisurely fashion, and amble towards the center of the room.
5) Turn your stupid, stupid, stupid cell phone off, and never look at it during the lecture.
6) If you plan to take notes, do so on paper. Do not haul out your laptop and make your neighbors try to listen to the speaker over the constant rattling of your keyboard.
7) Shut up. Listen to the speaker. Don't say anything to anyone at any time — unless, during Q&A time, you actually have question you'd like to know the answer to.(Note that almost none of the people who ask questions of public speakers are interested in getting real answers.)
8) Do not eat anything. What are you, some kind of barbarian? Wait until the lecture is over and then eat in a place appropriate for eating. No one listening to a lecture wants to smell your food or hear you chew, swallow, and suck your drink. No one.Thank you for your cooperation."

Citation:
These rules were posted here:
Jacobs, Alan. <https://ayjay.jottit.com/rules_for_lecture_attendance>, accessed 24 March 2011.